"No regrets when I'm old and grey" | Orange County Boudoir Photography

The first time I met this beauty, I knew she was going to be fun. We were at a boudoir party and she was the first one willing to try on some of the lingerie I’d brought, and was happy to demonstrate some poses I was showing the ladies.

She’s one of those people who makes friends easily and often; probably because she’s “as sweet as molasses” (as my grandma would have said). She’s the extrovert next to my introvert, which is why she was such an excellent choice to be one of our 2020 brand ambassadors.

Ladies…I’d like to introduce you to Angela. You’ll be seeing more of her around here, and if you ever have any questions about a boudoir photoshoot (from someone who’s actually been through the process), she can totally help you out.

The day of her shoot certainly didn’t disappoint. We laughed (a lot), we danced and we had a truly epic girls’ day. She brought along one of her best gal pals to help cheer her along (and bring her mimosa’s during set changes), which added even more to the fun. If you’ve ever wondered if you can bring a friend with you - the answer is YES! My one stipulation is that the person who joins you must be a non-critical champion for you. No “frienemies” who are going to make you feel bad about yourself - and honestly, if you’re associating with that type of person…just stop!

Scroll on down to get to know more about Angela, her motivation for doing a shoot and what she thought of the boudoir photoshoot experience. xoxo

---

“I had so many reasons in my head telling me why NOT to do [the shoot], but the main reason why I decided to go for it was that I did not want to have any regrets looking back at my life. When I am old and gray, I will have these amazing photos to look back on.

“What I love about Mandy is her personal style and the look of her photos. Nothing else like it out there. The lighting is perfect, the shadows are in all the right places and she knows how to work with all your assets. ;)

“I have wanted to do a boudoir shoot for a long time but once I met Mandy I felt so comfortable with her I knew she was the perfect choice to make this experience happen!

“The experience was even better than what I thought it was going to be. I think a lot of nerves make us think of things that are going to happen, but Mandy is gifted in handling all situations with music, lighting, proper clothes or no clothes choices and how to have a fun time doing it.

“Again, no regrets. AND I AM SO HAPPY I DID IT! My husband has a lot these pictures on his background of his computer, phone, screensavers so he is very happy I did it too! I had the typical fears of being self-conscious, had goals in my mind of how I would look before the shoot-didn't come close...but I embraced where I was. I knew I did what I could do and it was what it was. Life happens and we need to be accepting and okay with that.

“My favorite part was the hair and makeup...I have never had both done before and I sure felt like a million bucks that day leaving there! I loved posing for the camera, but the beautifying was just what I needed. It is amazing what make-up can do! The lady who did my make up had such a nice soft personality to her. That helped me become relaxed before my shoot.

“DO IT. Don't listen to those 100,000 reasons in your head telling you not to. Just take a deep breath and do it. It will be something that you have to look at years from now and I am sure you will be proud of yourself for embracing your life, who you were and your beauty-no matter what season of your life that you are in.”

Are you ready to take a deep breath and do something that your future self will thank you for? Something that your current self maybe needs more than you realize. Consultation calls are completely free. Let’s get on the phone and answer all your questions, and determine if we’d be a good fit.

2019 Wrap-Up | Overcoming Depression...again

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

I'm not gonna lie…this time last year, I wasn't in the best place. I had recently weaned my youngest (who was just over a year old) from the breast at the beginning of November. The plan was to have him weaned before the beginning of November because I had plans to attend a boudoir photography conference which would be my first time being away overnight from my baby.

I don't even know how to put into words how VERY excited I was for it. I had just finished the first year of parenthood with my second (and last) son, and dude…I needed a break. This little guy refused the bottle, so I wasn't able to be away from him for more than a few hours at a time - which wasn't too big of a deal because I had committed to being a stay at home mom for his first year.

It was annoying to feel so "trapped" by his eating schedule, but I was dealing and looking forward to the day when he would wean, and I could start focusing on myself and my career goals again. I'm not content being idle, and motherhood doesn't give me the fulfillment that I think many women feel (and how I "thought" I would be), but that's a whole other story for another day. I love my kids with all my heart, so don't get me wrong.

Around his first birthday in September, he got really sick with scarlet fever and weaning was the last thing on our mind. Nursing him was the only thing I could do in those moments to bring him comfort and so, that's what I did. Gladly. Tossing my plans to be all done with breastfeeding by November completely out the window. Instead, I found myself on a deadline,  having our very last nursing session the evening before I left. Ugh. Talk about a gut punch.

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

This long weekend of relaxation, growth, and inspiration at a boudoir retreat (that I had dreamed of for a year) became something else entirely. I found myself severely engorged and uncomfortable all weekend while experiencing a radical hormone shift that thrust me into the second bout of depression. The only thing good about the boobs…was that I also had plans to have MY boudoir photos taken that weekend (which are the photos seen here). 

The icing on top of this cake was having a massive dispute with a really great friend at the end of the retreat. I spent the bulk of the hour-long Lyft ride back to the airport alone, crying and reliving all the hurtful words that were said. At that moment, I couldn't see how broken she and I both were at that time. We were both in really tough seasons of life, trying to get through it.

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

For months afterward, I struggled with my depression while grieving a lost friendship. In the past, my struggles with depression have mostly taken the form of anxiety…but this time was different. I found myself unable to focus on anything for long; I was constantly getting side-tracked. While this is rather typical of moms (#mombrain), this was next level.

I had no motivation, my appetite was sparse, I had lost interest in watching my favorite TV shows (which, isn't necessarily a bad thing, but…it wasn't me) and mostly, I found myself unable to be the kind of parent that I wanted to be – that I knew I *could* be. Managing school pick-ups, homework, Tee-ball and feeding my kids all felt so terribly overwhelming. I was always so short-tempered and frustrated and that's not the environment I wanted my kids growing up in. They deserve more. I deserve more. So, I sought out help and devised a plan.

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

I finally started seeing a psychiatrist to help manage my medication and found a new therapist. Previously, my anti-depressant had been prescribed to me by my OBGYN after a miscarriage, and it was fine for a while, but I knew I'd reached a point where we needed to revisit dosage and see if I was even using the right one. I'm also a firm believer that anti-depressant medication without talk therapy, just isn't as beneficial. I don't love having to rely on medication to help my mood – but, turns out…I do, for now at least.

I also made it a priority to workout regularly by doing Stroller Strides. I love the Elle Woods quote from Legally Blonde, "Exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands." Which is so true! Physical activity has such amazing benefits for your mind and body. Plus, I started losing weight and reshaping my body (which will always make a girl feel better)! Not only did I lose the "baby weight" but I gained the strength to carry my kids around without enduring neck & shoulder pain.

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

The last bit of "secret sauce" in my GET-YOUR-SHIT-TOGETHER plan, was committing to a healthy bedtime. The last time I shared publicly about my struggles with depression/anxiety, someone that I'd known for years reached out to share her story with me. I'd never know this person struggled, and it felt so comforting to know I'm not alone (and neither are you if you're having a hard time). She told me that the keys to her depression management, were being consistent with her medication and not missing a dose here and there, and sleep! Folks, sleep is HUGE. I think as a society, we tend to be chronically sleep-deprived. When I've not gotten adequate sleep for a few days in a row, it never fails to impact my mood negatively.

Photo by Melissa Rey

Photo by Melissa Rey

As this year comes to an end, and I reflect over the past 12 months, I see how far I've come. I won't say that I'm free of depression and anxiety; they still come in waves from time to time, but I've found ways to cope. I find myself entering this new decade with a lot of optimism

In the end, I'm really thankful to have these photos of myself at one of my lowest (and heaviest) times in life. Sure, having photos of ourselves at the best moments of our life is nice – at your wedding, or after you hit that "goal weight" – but there is also something incredibly healing to have photos of yourself in those darker times too. I look at the woman in these images and see someone in pain. I also see the extra 20 pounds, but instead of hating on that girl, I have empathy for her. I'm able to see her beauty and strength.

Photo by Alexandria Kenyon

For the first time in my life, I feel secure in my own body.

So, here's to 2020 and more self-love!

Photo by Melissa Rey

Are you struggling with similiar and want someone to talk to? I’m by no means an expert on mental health, but I’m here if you want to chat.

BLACK FRIDAY EXCLUSIVE EVENT : SILHOUETTE SESSIONS

This is a limited time event and the perfect occassion for anyone looking to dip their toes into the world of a boudoir portrait experience. If a full session is a little overwhelming for you, this is a great way to try it out!  

TWO-DAYS ONLY - December 14 & 15 

What is a SILHOUETTE SESSION? It's a mini 30 minute boudoir session with Mandy. You'll wear one outfit (that you bring with you), and I'll guide you through one of my most popular and requested poses...that also happens to be universally flattering for all body types and doesn't require professional hair & make-up. After I guide you through a sequence of variations to that one foundational pose, you'll end up with a gallery of 20-25 images to choose from at your photo reveal party.

This package collection is $925 and includes: 7 digital files and a Retro Viewfinder with a custom reel using your chose images - with guaranteed delivery by Valentine’s Day. The Viewfinder is typically only available as a thank you gift with the 5-Star Collection.

Examples of the SILHOUETTE SESSION pose that you’ll be guided through at your photoshoot.

Want a little more information or ready to reserve your spot?! Fill out the following form and we’ll be in touch right away with steps on how to book!

Studio Launch Party

You guys…I have a studio! I still can’t believe it sometimes, and the waves of fear & excitement come equally as often, but I know that the absolute best things happen in a place of discomfort. So, here goes…

I’d love to invite everyone to come by the studio for a tour and cheers me on this huge milestone. I will also have a couple fun raffles…more info on those to come soon, but you KNOW one of those raffles will include a session. ;) I just can’t help myself! Hope to see you there.

Saturday, November 9th, 2019
7-10pm

Special private burlesque performance
by The Black Veils at 9pm, with raffle to follow

1701 East Edinger Ave, Suite C7
Santa Ana, CA

Book a sitter, invite all your girlfriends or make it a date night. Men are welcome at the studio for this event! Drop me a line below and let me know how many you’ll have with you so I can stock up on wine & champagne.

xoxo,
Mandy

 

Our Joshua Tree Family Photos

To everyone on social media who helped me decide which dress - THANK YOU. I had no idea everyone would have so many opinions and feedback. You’ll be pleased to find that I ended up choosing the top two most popular dresses from the online poll. (both came from asos.com for those interested)

It’s been a while since I’ve done a personal post, and I’ve had a lot of new followers, so it’s time. Below I’ll share my most recently family photos, and a bit more about ME and my journey to becoming a boudoir photographer. Time to get personal!

For the past 6 years, I’ve been rediscovering myself as a woman since becoming a mom. The transition into motherhood shook me to my core, and forced me into postpartum depression & anxiety - but also woke me up.

I was nearly a decade into a career in project management/production in the marketing and PR industries, and found myself completely unhappy. The work I was doing was stressing me out, but seemed so trivial. I was working with big brands and companies doing cool projects, but my direct work didn’t feel like I was helping anyone. 

I’ve only recently come to realize that this was a missing component in the beginning of my career. I suppose I’ve always known that I enjoy doing creative things, but I didn’t realize how much it meant to me to be helping people.

I’m super intrigued by psychology and having a deeper understanding of oneself. I’ve done Myers Briggs, DISC, Enneagram and every other personality indicator test that I can get my hands on. I LOVE digging deep inward and trying to understand who I am, where my strengths are and how I can improve. 

When I discovered boudoir photography, it made so many things click for me. It felt natural. I’m a bit of an introverted homebody, so putting on the outgoing bubbly friendly personality that it takes for event photography was very depleting for me. The small group that is involved at an intimate portrait session is much more my speed and let’s ME be myself, and opens the door for the women in front of my camera to do the same. 

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

My ultimate goal is to do work that feels meaningful, while allowing my creativity to have an outlet. It feels amazing to be able to use my skills with a camera, to create portraits of women that can be so empowering. 

However, I don’t want to stop there. I want to help a few women transform even MORE aspects of their life. A chance to have multiple complementary photoshoots, and then earn cash money simply by telling others about their own boudoir portrait experience. Way more information about the MMP Brand Ambassador in this post with a link to the application. Come join my tribe!

Special thanks and all the photo credit to the talented Melissa Rey Photography. She nailed our vision for this shoot and I’m so pumped to decorate my home with these photos.

MMP is Hiring/Casting, and YOU may be the right fit

Empowering women with the portraits I take, is seriously so fulfilling for me. However, I don’t want to stop there. I want to help a few extra women transform even MORE of their life, by giving them an opportunity to earn some extra money simply by telling their friends about their (complementary) boudoir photoshoot experience.

Introducing...the MMP Brand Ambassador Program. 

What you get outta the deal:

• Multiple shoots within the next year

• Commission on all sessions booked via your referral

• Complimentary low resolution digitals to use as content for social media & blog posts

• A complimentary album at the end of your contract, and 50% off any wall art or additional products you may choose to order

• Private coaching from ME on how to create content for social media and get engagement

What you gotta do:

• Mainly, refer friends!

• Go to parties & GNO events

• Post to social media about your boudoir experience

• Engage and uplift other women in the Mandy Merino private group on Facebook

• Write feature blog posts for www.mandymerino.com 

• Sign a model release and agree to having your photos posted online

That’s a value of over $10,000 worth of boudoir products, with the chance to earn cash $$ on top of that! 

If you’re outgoing, friendly, socially active, not afraid of sharing your story in an effort to uplift and encourage other women to love themselves...then this may be an incredible opportunity for you. 

Applications are due by 10am PST on Monday, 9/30/19. 

Boss Babe Spotlight: FIT4MOM NORTH OC

I suppose it’s the entrepreneur in me, or a hiding journalist within that I never knew existed, but when I encounter another small business that I really enjoy, I instantly become interested in the person/team running the show; especially businesses that are run by other women. And well, I REALLY love other female run businesses that also have a mission of empowering other women. So naturally, when I met Angela Bridgford and the FIT4MOM village, I wanted to know all about her.

I’ve talked before about my struggles with finding mom friends, and how hard it is to make new connections as an adult in this stage of life when you’re new to an area. Especially for an introverted homebody like myself. Approaching a stranger and making small talk is so hard for me, and I’m so uncomfortable at large parties/events. So when I finally drug my ass out to a Stroller Strides class almost a year ago, it changed my life. I didn’t just find an exercise class that’s helping me transform my body, I found my Village; and for a person who has no family nearby, that’s huge.

I didn’t take long to recognize that a huge part of what makes this specific Village so special, is Mrs. Angela Bridgford. Her kindness and smile can light up a room, and she has a way of making everyone feel so welcome and supported (and she’ll kick your booty with an awesome work-out). She’s pulled together a team of instructors and play group captains who also embody this spirit, and make this the BEST Village if you ask me. I had about a million questions I wanted to ask, but for now...we’ll start with this.

Tell us a bit about FIT4MOM, and what it is?

“FIT4MOM is a community that offers mothers support and strength for motherhood! We offer different fitness programs to fit your stage of motherhood. We are your one-stop shop for fitness as a mommy whether you have a newborn or have teenage kids. We have something for you! The best thing about our programs is that our certified instructors are also moms. We understand the “aches and pains” of motherhood, so we are right there with you!”

View fullsize

View fullsize

Tell us a bit about yourself, and your journey to becoming a franchise owner.

“Eleven years ago, I was a young mother to a one-year-old baby girl. It’s also important to note I was the first of my close friends to have a child. You can imagine the anxiety I had facing all of the firsts, not knowing what the heck I was doing. While my first year at home with Ellie was sweet and absolutely amazing, I hardly ever got out of the house! I was uncomfortable with my postpartum body. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I desperately needed to make other mom friends who could encourage and support me in my motherhood journey.

As a birthday gift for my one-year-old, my husband’s aunt bought me a 10- Class Pass to try a program called Stroller Strides. From the moment I tried my first class, I was hooked! Other moms and babies... exercising and engaging with my baby... playgroups... Mom’s Nights Out. The program wasn’t just a workout–it was a community of wonderful women! Just 6 short months later, I became an instructor. My mission was to help moms just like me to find their Village.

Five glorious years later, 1 more baby, and one in the belly, I had a chance to become an owner of the community where I found ME again, just 5 years earlier. It’s been close to 7 years since becoming an owner, and I can truly say, with a passion, that my mission is still the same. It’s to give mamas the strength for motherhood! Not just strength, but confidence in their postpartum body, a smile and encouragement for their day, and affirmation that they are doing a great job as “mom.” God has given me the sweetest opportunity with this community of women, and I couldn’t be prouder!”

What about your team - how do you choose them?

“My Team. These ladies are a special group of women who are Heaven sent! I mean it. I have been so fortunate to have met and work with each one of them. They make this Village the special community that it is!

I am always looking for additions to our Team. Life happens and things are always changing. Often times, our mamas move, they go back to work, their kids outgrow the stroller phase, they have another baby...So, our Team is always evolving. That’s probably the hardest part of being in my position. It’s always sad to see someone leave our Team. We are like a little family unit!

As far as the process of choosing a new team member...these women become a part of Our Village, we get to know them, they attend classes for a while. After a short time, we can usually see potential in this person right away. I reach out to them, and they usually jump on the opportunity! Once you’ve been a part of this Village for a time, you realize how special it is as a mama, and you want to give that back to someone else!”

How do you balance being a business owner and a mom?

“Working mamas are always trying to achieve that balance between family and work life. I am certainly no stranger to that! Anyone running a business will tell you, it’s a labor of love! When you own your own business, you think about it 24/7. It’s my baby (ha!)! I often have days where I am in front of my computer too much or have been gone several nights in a row at classes or for an outing, but that’s when I rely on my loving family to step in and help. This all could not happen without their support! I am surrounded and supported by first, my husband and business advisor (bless him!), 8 instructors who share the same passion and love for these women (and several past instructors whose impact is still felt by Our Village), and 4 playgroup captains who work hard to nurture the connection in Our Village and between mama and child. Last, but certainly not least, I cling to my faith always! I am truly thankful that God gave me this incredible opportunity. The scripture I hold close in my role as business owner is one found in 1 Corinthians 15:58. It says, “Be strong + immovable. Work enthusiastically. Nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.”

What do you like to do to focus on your OWN fitness and self care goals?

“ This past year came with a big shift as my youngest child began attending school Monday through Friday until 1pm. This freed up a bit of my time (when I am not teaching) to take care of me. I have gotten to take many “freedom runs”—that’s what us mamas call it when we run without the kiddos and a stroller! I also enjoy a couple of YouTube channels when I want a quick 30-minute strength training session. I don’t have a lot of extra time so these work so extremely well for me and my busy schedule.

Those who know me well know that I am actually an introvert at heart, so I absolutely have to have downtime. When I don’t get the downtime, I crash. I am very good at knowing when I need to disconnect. My husband is really good at knowing when I need to disconnect too. Stepping away to go and see a movie or getting to sleep in extra or getting to exercise alone...that is so key for me and my self-care.”

In the coming year, what do you hope to do more of within your business?

“I hope to offer more of a wide variety of classes to moms so FIT4MOM North OC is a one-stop shop! We are working on a Run Club, and a cardio- heavy class called “Strides 360.” One special need that I see is a challenging class that provides a low-impact workout. Many mamas come to us with new and old injuries that limit their ability to run or jump. Lucky for us, our Home Office just debuted a new program called, “Body Ignite.” Stay tuned for more info soon!”

What does female empowerment mean to you?

“The answer to this question can go in so many directions, but I believe I have one that speaks my personal truth. Female empowerment is seeing, believing, and living out our personal value. To be fully empowered as a woman, we have to live our best life. How do we do that? As women, we can wear many hats and do quite a bit because we are the ultimate multitaskers? With that said, after a while, we get run down and discouraged. We need our life lines...our spouse, family, girlfriends, mentors. For me, this means surrounding myself with people who truly believe in me as an individual. I am most empowered by recognizing my needs, accepting help, and surrounding myself with loving, supportive family and friends. They cheer me on along this journey and are the first to pick me up when I falter! Making the choice to take care of me...being in healthy relationships and surrounding myself with those who inspire me is female empowerment!”

Lastly, how can people find you? 

www.northoc.fit4mom.com

northoc@fit4mom.com

If you’ve enjoyed reading about ‘Ang’, please be sure to leave us a little note in the comments! It’s much appreciated.

Do you know a lady in the SoCal area who is shining as an entrepreneur, and deserves a moment in the spotlight? Please nominate them via the form below, and perhaps I’ll choose to feature them in an upcoming Bossbabe Spotlight.

Or, are you ready to get in touch with me and talk about planning your own boudoir experience? I’m ready to get to know YOU!

Tenth Anniversary Gift | Orange County Boudoir Photographer

“I’m already having the time of my life, and I haven’t even put on a teddy yet!”

- Ms A (during glam/mimosa portion of her photoshoot)

Ms A reached out to me with the intentions of planning a super special gift for her husband for their tenth wedding anniversary (and let me tell you, we created a gift to beat all other future gifts. #sorrynotsorry, future gifts). But what I love the most, is how much of a gift to HER it was. While trying to plan the perfect session, it led her down a path of self discovery and acceptance, and ultimately changed her perception of herself.

That’s the magic in what I do.

When women reach out to me with the goal of creating a gift for a significant other, I always giggle inside a little bit, and then remind them that this is also a gift to THEMSELVES too. It’s just that us women need that “excuse” to do something nice for ourselves.

Let’s hear what Ms A had to say about the experience...

---

“This session was a gift for my 10-year wedding anniversary. After ten years of marriage and two kids, I wanted my husband to see me as a strong, sexy woman again (there was no indication he didn't, just my insecurities). Most importantly, I wanted to FEEL sexy again. “

“I really don't like getting my photo taken! It's hard for me to pose seriously for photos without doing something goofy because I never know what to do with my face. I also had reservations about showing my tummy, about which I was very self-conscious.”

“The session itself was much more fun and comfortable than I was expecting, and I felt like an actual model! But the whole process was also different from what I expected... I feel so happy in my own skin again, and accepting of my flaws but also my strengths. I never expected to feel so affected by it all in such a positive way. “

“I loved the weeks leading up to the session where I got to spend some time picking out lingerie and shoes, and also the anticipation of waiting for the photos. But the session itself was so fulfilling that I would have to say it was my favorite. And of course seeing my husband's reaction the first time he saw the photos was also pretty awesome. :) “

“I definitely got emotional seeing myself the way I was hoping: a strong, sexy woman. When I look at the photos now I still have to remind myself that it's actually me. ;) “

“In general, the whole process from start to finish was an unexpected exploration of how I saw myself. I never realized that in my day-to-day life I was focusing so much on my flaws and not embracing my body's beauty. Preparing for this session changed my outlook because I wasn't going to be able to hide in front of the camera. I discovered what I like and dislike, and what lingerie flatters me. During and after the session I truly felt sexy again. I am walking taller and I'm more confident than I have ever been. When I look in the mirror now, I notice my perfections and strengths before my flaws (if I notice them at all).”

“Mandy exceeded any and all expectations. She guided me perfectly throughout the whole process and paid attention to every little detail to make it an amazing experience! From having my favorite music playing when I arrived, to making me feel completely at ease during the session, she made the experience comfortable but so much fun!! “

To any ladies who’ve been considering their own boudoir experience:

“Just do it. Don't wait for "the perfect time." Do this for yourself, you deserve it! Go buy that lingerie, those high heels (or whatever you're into) and take a couple of hours to feel like the sensual goddess you are. It is so incredibly worth it.”

I don’t think there’s much else I need to say. Are you ready to get in touch?

Boss Babe Spotlight: TRICHOLOGY

Growing up, I always wanted “funky color” hair. In fact, my high school sweetheart was one of those guys with the ever-changing rainbow of hair colors (he was in a band, too, of course). I wanted that for myself, but for some reason I didn’t have the confidence. Over the years, I’ve been working so hard to accept the person I am, and allow myself the freedom to wear my hair as an artistic accessory. When I decided I was finally brave enough to take the plunge, I began searching for the perfect hair stylist which led me down an Instagram rabbit hole of #fullertonvividhair and so on, which led me to @jessscissorhands She helped me shyly dip my toes in vivid hair color, and so began a new love. I only wish I had the time to invest in myself to maintain it. Alas.

That was in 2015. Over these years, I’ve loved watching Jess grow as an artist and a person. She’s clearly so passionate about what she’s doing, and so wonderfully talented. When she told me she was opening a salon alongside Laura, it really was no surprise. That’s because she’s a #bossbabe and is always chasing goals. Which is why I love her, and so happy to spend time together when I’m able to secure childcare for a 2-3 hour hair appointment (#momlife).

Speaking of mom life, my sassy five-year-old who decided he wanted to grow his hair out, is the reason I’ve gotten to know Laura. Tired of the standard barber cut for my little dude...we decided to let Laura take over his hair care needs which led us to a new friend.

Watching these two ladies put their everything into opening Trichology salon has been such an inspiration, and I’m so proud to feature them as the first Boss Babes of 2019!

Jess Tittle

Laura Mussche

How did you lovely ladies meet?

LAURA: “Salon Technique. Where I saw the drive I had & no one was nourishing that so I asked her to please take the station next to me. The end.......”

JESS: “We met at salon technique in 2012. she mentored me and eventually and I started working next to her and now we own a salon togetherrrr.“

---

What inspired you to become a hair stylist?

LAURA: “My friend was in beauty school & invited me to come get a conditioner treatment because I wouldn’t let her cut or color my hair! As soon as I saw people painting on hair I was hooked!!!!! Never ever grew up wanting to be a hairdresser! LOL”

JESS: “I was always artistic and hated school. Somehow I found that playing with hair was so damn fun and it wasn't until I was 14 that I realized it could be a career.”

---

How did you get to where you are now?

LAURA: “With a little help from my friends..... also my stubborn pride & drive that’ll never cease to exist! Plus Jess...... Jess has known me long time. She’s my better side!”

JESS: “Lots of hard hard work and people who encouraged me to follow my heart and chase my dreams.”

---

What is Trichology all about? What’s the vibe/what do you hope to bring to the industry?

LAURA: “Individuality!!! I hope to strengthen young stylists confidence & that’s not referring to hair skill (of course that’s what we’ll do!) however, strangely our industry lacks so much confidence in themselves! Their feeling of “having to do whatever the client expects” is ridiculous! Some things are unattainable & I think we should be confident in saying “no” Like when a Dr says “there’s no more we can do.” 

JESS: “For sure individuality! Nothing better then having a team who are confidant and make their clients feel their best! Building each other up is huge for us!”

---

What do you hope to do more of in the coming year?

LAURA: ”Relaxing hahahahaha jk Education, being grateful for everything I have & travel.”

JESS: “For me I want to travel more with Pulpriot, educate more and build a stronger & educated team

What does being a #girlboss mean to you?

LAURA: “Being a strong leader and show girls to always follow your dreams!”

JESS: “Fearless fucking leader. Not being afraid to fail at something. Just going for it and taking chances. That’s the hardest part.”

Thank you ladies SO much for taking some time out of your busy schedule, to tell us about yourselves. Also, for spending a Sunday afternoon with me and letting me photograph you! muah

If you’re looking for a new salon in the downtown Fullerton, CA area, I love these ladies and the space they’ve created at Trichology | 110 N HARBOR BLVD SUITE B, located in the back of All Hallows Ink. I won’t lie…it makes me want a tattoo every time I go in, when I hear the tattoo guns from next door, but maybe that’s just me?

"I've never felt more like a woman" | Orange County Boudoir Studio | Mother's Day Celebration

I have been LOVING all the mamas in and out of the studio this past month, as we've been celebrating Mother's Day. Yes, yes...I *planned* to feature a beautiful Southern California mom on the blog each week this month, but, well, things got a little busy and I fell behind on my blogging schedule. I also NEVER feature a woman on the blog without her getting to see her images first and choose her favorites. So, screw it - we're going to celebrate all the way into June. 

Today, we are featuring Miss S. I had the pleasure of photographing her sister last year, who had such an amazing time that she told Miss S she just had to do this. As a photographer, that is seriously the highest compliment someone can give me. I found both of these women to be absolutely beautiful and genuinely good people.  I could ramble on and on, but I'll let her tell you about the experience herself. 

"This is something I have been curious about in the past but never really thought I would have the guts to pursue. Then my sister told me about how great her experience was, and after seeing the amazing pictures I was hooked. I don't think I actually knew what exactly boudoir pictures were but after I saw how classy and tasteful Mandy's work was there was no question this was something I would definitely need to cross off my bucket list. I also wanted to be able to capture this time in my life. Becoming a mom has been such an amazing and life changing experience."

"I did have my usual hang ups about my body that I had been carrying for years, like I always thought I had broad shoulders that made me feel I look like a line-backer, my moms hook nose and my super skinny legs but then I had a baby 6 months ago and that added a whole new list of things to feel insecure about, like my even bigger gut and that I no longer have a butt. But I figured Mandy knows what she's doing."

(As a boudoir photographer in Orange County I've come to hear many - often somewhat crazy - self perceived "flaws" that women see in themselves (i.e. line-back shoulders). I love being able to help women move past those insecurities and realize that NOBODY else sees those things in them, and learn to be a little kinder to themselves.)

"I was so pleasantly surprised and relieved to see how relaxed and comfortable Mandy made the whole experience. She was so laid back and honest about what did and didn't work. And she really seemed to keep in mind all the hang ups I did have and reassured me she wouldn't do anything that made me uncomfortable or didn't look good on camera. She was also really clear during the shoot so there was no question as to what to do...she takes all the guess work out."

"I have never felt as empowered as I did after that photo-shoot! I thought I would have felt a lot more nervous but as the shoot went on the more comfortable I felt. Once we were done there was not one part that I regretted and left feeling like I could do anything! Also it was a great excuse to get out of my granny panties I had been rocking since I got pregnant and treat myself to some cute panty sets that get me in a good mood every time I wear them."

How did you feel when you saw your images?
"I think this was the part that I was the most nervous about. After the shoot I knew Mandy did everything to make my body look it's best but I was worried about what I had done with my face! Was I too stiff? Did I look relaxed enough? But once we got to the viewing session I should have known there was nothing to worry about. Mandy is a true professional, down to the little details. She started the [viewing] session with a cute video that got me right back into the mood I was in for the actual photo shoot, but this time all the hard work was done and it was time to just relax and enjoy the show. 

"I'm not too proud to admit I was actually lead to tears, a reaction I was not expecting, especially since it was one of the last pictures that elicited such a strong response. It wasn't even the most 'flattering" and actually showcased what most would try to hide- my belly rolls! But at that moment they felt like such a badge of honor and I felt like such a Mom! It felt so honest, natural and real. I never felt more like a woman. It was such a relief to see how good all the photos came out, some sexy, some cute, some silly, all beautiful!"

To any women reading this, considering their OWN boudoir experience...this is what Miss S has to say to you:

"Do it! Do it! Do it! I am a tomboy at heart and tend to keep it safe and comfortable but I'm so glad and proud that I got out of my comfort zone...And now I have amazing pictures to capture such a transformative time in my life.

The whole experience was Awesome! Mandy was Amazing! And the photos came out great! From her professionalism to her attention to detail you can tell she loves her craft and she loves bringing out the best in women! I loved the stories she told about her experience as a mother which led her to this work so you can tell she is genuine when working with other women and especially moms. Thank you for what you do Mandy."

What are you waiting for? What's holding you back? Let me help you work through those insecurities and learn to see yourself as others do - BEAUTIFUL. All you need to do is reach out, and I'll take it from there. 

Mandy Merino Photography is a Fullerton, California based boudoir portrait studio. We're an all female staff specializing in fine-art style sexy, nude and intimate portraits in a loving and judgement free zone. Our clients come from all over Orange County, Los Angeles, San Diego and through-out the Southern California area. We love photographing all women, but really love helping moms break out of day-to-day grind and reconnect with the sensual woman who hides within. 

Boudoir in the Bluegrass || Summer 2017 || Central Kentucky Photoshoot

Hello there, Bluegrass babes! Who's ready to feel beautiful & sexy in Central Kentucky? It's time once again for Mandy Merino Photography to bring her style of boudoir back to her hometown and give 'em all somethin' (else) to talk about. Amirite?  ;) Let's shake things up! Get ready to step outside your comfort zone, and reap the empowering rewards that come along with tackling your fears. I guarantee this to be an experience to leave you feeling gorgeous and a renewed sense of self confidence. 

Now booking sessions for June 2017 in Central Kentucky. Each session planned unique to YOU. You tell me about how you'd like to be photographed, and I'll plan an experience that's just for you.  Location will either be in-studio in Lexington, KY, or at an alternate location of your choosing (feeling outdoorsy?) If you want an outdoor location, I'll work with you to determine a suitable location.

The following will be the only sessions offered in Kentucky for 2017: 

Sunday, June 25
9:00 a.m. - available
 2:30 p.m.  - booked 

Monday, June 26
9:00 a.m. - available
2:30 p.m.  - booked

Ready to find out more and reserve your spot? Feel free to browse the INFO page for pricing and details, or get in touch with me and let's talk through all your questions. 

She hadn't felt sexy in years | Mother's Day Boudoir Celebration

It's May! A month full of holidays & celebrations - Star Wars Day, Cinco de Mayo, Kentucky Derby, National Burger Day, Memorial Day...but the most important one, is Mother's Day! I dunno, maybe it's the whole baby-in-my-uterus thing, but I've got moms on the brain in a big way this year and feel like celebrating motherhood ALL month long. 

I love photographing all women and making them feel beautiful, but I'll admit it - I have a special place in my heart for my mama clients. Probably because I am one and it was my rocky start at motherhood that actually lead me to the empowering world of boudoir photography. So, I decided to focus my blog on MOMS all month long. Each week I'll be featuring a different beautiful mama and her unique story. 

First up, we have Miss S. This lady here captured my heart in one single sentence in her very first email to me, "Honestly, I haven't felt sexy in....the PC answer is years....but the true answer is decades." UGH. That right there breaks my heart, and is why I do this. I'm positively certain that she's not alone with these feelings, and it's my mission to change the way so many women see themselves. To show them that they ARE beautiful and sexy. 

Sometimes we like to sneak a few headshots in too...you know, since you're all glammed up. 

What made you want to do a boudoir session? 

"I had been feeling for a while like it was time to break out of the norm, but I couldn’t quite figure out what that next step needed to be. I was a 50 year old, divorced, single mom - so much of my life was defined for me that I was feeling like I just wanted something that was me. 

I saw your post looking for women for a boudoir shoot and I thought - that’s it!  I had never considered a boudoir shoot before. I literally submitted an application before I had a chance to think about it. Once I hit send….I panicked.  I thought, who are you kidding Sandy? You are definitely not a boudoir model."

(You see, most of my clients don't walk in feeling like "models" who are ready to take it all off and have their photos taken. They're doing this because they don't, and they need a little pick-me-up.)

[On the day of the shoot, when I left the studio I felt...] 

"Liberated, like nothing was off limits now.

I was always that kid who followed the rules, colored inside the lines, raised my hand, finished my homework before playing. 

I did the same in adult life - married my college BF, had 3 kids, made my family my top priority. But then divorce, going back to work full time, and raising 3 boys alone - it felt like there was simply nothing left of me. And I had completely lost what it was like to be and feel desirable."

After seeing your photos and getting your heirloom box, how did it make you feel? Did it change the way you see yourself and your confidence? 

"Without a doubt, yes! Desire is in the mind. The photo shoot opened that door back up. 
Free the mind, the body will follow where ever you want it to go."

(Rawr! Yea, girl!)

What would you tell other women who are considering this experience for themselves? 

"Do it!  Do it now, Do it today, Do it for yourself. If you want to become the best version of you, you have to be willing to step outside of your box and go where it is uncomfortable.

There’s an old fable about the lobster.  The lobster stays in his “home” until he starts to outgrow it. He knows it’s time to shed it and build a new home when the old one becomes uncomfortable. Everything he tries to do becomes harder and harder with the old home. So, when he’s finally had enough, he sheds the old, crawls under a rock to retool a new one, and then emerges when it’s ready. He would never know he needed a new one without that discomfort."

"Doing the boudoir shoot with Mandy was my discomfort. But the funny thing was - the only discomfort I had was in making the decision. Because from there - Mandy made it so incredibly comfortable, I literally left her studio laughing at myself for making such a big deal out of it in my head."

Thank YOU, Miss S for sharing your story and photos with us. Helping you reclaim a portion of yourself that had been lost, gives me the warm and fuzzies. 

To all the mama's out there, I see you. I know how much this joyous life can give, and take of you. If you're in need of a day all to yourself, to reconnect with the WOMAN who is there at your core, lost in the daily grind of #momlife...get in touch. Mandy Merino Photography is a boudoir portrait studio located in Orange County, CA (with a trip to Central Kentucky on the books in June). We're dedicated to empowering women via intimate portraiture in a loving, empowering and judgement free space. It's way more than just sexy photos - it can be a life changing experience. Each session is planned unique to you, and your comfort zone. 

Trust Miss S - reaching out truly is the hardest part. After you send that initial email, I'll take care of you every step of the way. 

Celebrating a healthy body image :: Orange County Boudoir Studio

Holy bombshell, Batman!

This gallery you're about to see, gives me so much creative life. When we planned this shoot, it was during our epic rainy season. We were aiming for a moody, rainy-day vibe and I was over-the-moon thrilled with the concept 'cause I loooove the rain. Especially here in Southern California where it's sunny roughly 300 days a year. The sun had a different idea that day, and decided to crash our shoot...in all the best ways. What we ended up with was glowing goddess bathing in golden afternoon light. Anyway, you're clearly not here to talk about the weather. 

Let's move on to more interesting things, like Miss A's session. When she told me she wanted to be my muse, I asked her how comfortable she was being nude. I'd really been dying to shoot a fine art nude boudoir session to add to my portfolio, and she was simply perfect for this. So much of the time I'm working with women who suffer with poor self-confidence and a negative body image. This time, it was so refreshing to work with a woman with self proclaimed "healthy confidence" and I'm here to so, YOU FUCKING GO GIRL! I'm so ready for self deprecation to be "out" and self love to be "in". When someone compliments you, raise your head high and say "THANK YOU" with confidence. Stop responding to compliments with "oh, but I hate my..." It's okay to love yourself. 

I'll get off my soapbox now, and move on to the good stuff. 

"I didn't really go into the shoot with any fears. I was pretty comfortable with the situation, and Mandy made it even easier because of her friendly, easygoing demeanor."

Favorite part of the experience?
Getting dressed up, feeling pretty. More excitement than a typical Tuesday afternoon.

"The shoot was pretty much what I expected, but the pics turned out better than my expectation!"

"Very impressed. The images turned out great, sexy and artistic, beautiful angles and lighting."

"I believe I am a person with a healthy confidence, I didn't have any personal breakthroughs due to the session. But, I think my boyfriend was very surprised and impressed with the fact that I did a shoot like that, and maybe now he views me in a more sensual light."

Get it, girl! I'm so excited for you to have these photos to look back on in 10, 20 even 30 years from now to remember this version of yourself. 

Are you ready to celebrate yourself, and learn to love the skin you're in? I'm here to tell you it's OKAY to have a positive body image. I want you to love every single image you see, and stop picking yourself apart. In fact, that's the one rule in my studio. I will not tolerate any negative talk of yourself. 

Let's talk. 

Boss Babe Spotlight: LOVE MORE DECOR

Have you ever found someone on the internet, e-stalked them ever-so-slightly and just knew there was a friendship there – even if that person didn’t know you existed (yet)? This month’s boss babe spotlight was one of those people for me – in a totally non-creepy way.

In my personal pursuit to find a mommy group, I stumbled across Allison Serrao via her Meet-up group, OMG I’m a Mom. I read the group overview and blog, and instantly felt like I connected with this woman. She was open, honest, and spoke so truthfully about the realities of motherhood. After joining the group and getting to know her a bit more, I discovered my instincts were accurate.

Not only is she a homeschooling mama of three little ones, but she’s a passionate philanthropist AND runs her own business – Love More Décor – along with her team of fellow boss moms. In addition to all of that, and whether she knows it or not – she’s inspiring and empowering so many mama’s and women through-out Orange County.

Let’s get to know a bit more about her, the team and what they do.

1. What is Love More Decor?

Love More Decor is a full service event and wedding production team of three creatives. We do everything from event design and execution to vendor management and wedding coordination! We offer wedding planning packages as well as a la carte services that you can use to create your own custom package catered to your specific needs. We are a pretty sweet package, we take care of all the fine details and handle everything from beginning to end. Our goal is for our clients to stress less and love more on the day they really should. 

All photos by Mandy Merino Photography unless otherwise credited. 

2. What was the inspiration for the business, or how did it get started?

My husband and I took a trip to Astoria, OR and stumbled upon an amazing storefront called Vintage Hardware. Paul and Rebecca who run the store are amazing creative designers who re-purpose and restore furniture and hardware and turn them into amazing design pieces. After visiting their store, it was decided that I wanted to come back and buy everything they had to start a decor rental company. So, months later, my husband and I flew out and drove home to CA in a UHAUL full of goodies. 

Since I have been doing events for the last 8 years and have always loved the grind of the planning, the designing, the producing and then finally seeing how everything we've worked on is finally executed, the next step for Love More Decor came naturally to start offering event coordination and planning. It's been nice to see our rentals and our clients leave hand in hand when working with them on their big day. 

3. Tell me a little bit about yourself (the owner), and your team.

My team is amazing! We are a three person machine when it comes to working together and we really know how to use our individual strengths. Our team consists of our Creative Manager, Ashlee, our Production Manager, Allie, and myself, Allison, the Event Director. 

Pictured left to right: Ashlee, Allison & Allie. Photo credit: Mandy Merino Photography

---

Our Creative Manager, Ashlee is incredibly talented at building and designing tablescapes, back drops, altars and more. She has a keen eye for design and what pieces are cohesive together when it comes to executing a clients vision. After seeing much of her work, I was so excited to have her join the LMD team and she has truly made her mark on our brand. She is also a gentle, compassionate mom of 2 who really has a way with people. I can always count on her to be the one looking out for the guests who may need a little extra help and taking excellent care of our clients. 

---

Allie, our production manager is a beast! I approached her to join LMD because I knew her standards for attention to detail were high and that she would always be working to make sure every detail and design element would meet and exceed our clients' expectations. She's incredibly organized and has a knack for being able to improvise seamlessly when needed and she truly works hard to ensure all relationships between venue, vendors and clients are working together for a successful event. Also, a mom of 2, she is such a loving, passionate and eager self starter who genuinely cares about the quality of her work and service to others. 

---

A little about myself, I have been managing and producing events for 8 years now, working everything from fundraisers, community events, dances, parties and weddings. As the Events Director, I am a meticulous planner obsessed with lists, spreadsheets, timelines and organizing all of the logistics that go into planning events large and small. I oversee all operations going into an event from the first steps of planning to the last minute of clean up and I get such a rush from each event we finish up. My favorite part of all of this is being able to create and design a specific vision for a client's special day and seeing efficiently executed. It allows the creative side of me to always be at work and play! Whether it's painting, writing, building, drawing, designing, restoring, or repurposing, the artist in me loves being able to always have a project to work on and Love More Decor has created that opportunity for me. 

4. Where do you draw inspiration from?

I think as mothers we draw inspiration from our everyday interactions with our kids. They are so full of wonder and imagination that they are constantly encouraging your creativity.  I can be crafting or painting or even hiking with my children and as they explore the activity we're up to they easily come up with new concepts completely organically and just like that, a new idea for a backdrop has been planted or an arch or table setting, all because of the colors my kids were using on their canvas, or because of the way they built something out of sticks and leaves. So much inspiration truly comes from just spending time with our kids and I think that's what makes our job that much more gratifying. 

Thanks to Haute Sweets Baking Co. for letting us photograph a team meeting in their beautiful shop. 

5. What types of brides/couples do you like to work with the most?

We really love all couples! We have worked with so many different clients with a large variety of styles. I think part of the fun in what we do is embracing the diversity of our clientele and their needs. It's allowed us to continue to work hard for our clients and keep a fresh mind when it comes to ideas and design elements. 

6. Where do you want your business go to in 2017, and what do you want to do more of?

This year we would really love to work with more local wedding vendors and styled shoots. I hope that in 2017 our business can gain more exposure and be recognized for our hard work, integrity and style!

Photo credit: Kirstin Burrows Photography

7. Share your thoughts on female empowerment, and what it means to you. 

There is a great quote about women by G.D. Anderson I read once, 

"Feminism isn't about making women strong. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength."

We women are built strong but for some reason the world does not commonly see us as so. I think the best way to combat this and what I think is the ultimate female empowerment tool is the act of self love. As we are still living in a man's world, I know my two daughters will still have to fight and claw their way out of the man cave, but loving ourselves fiercely, knowing our worth, enough to be our own guardian, champions and advocates, I believe we can continue to pave the way for women by not accepting anything less than what we deserve. 

---

Big thanks to Allison & team for letting me get to know them and feature them on this months Boss Babe Spotlight. As a working entrepreneur mama myself, I love getting to know other women who are building their businesses and balancing motherhood! 

If you're planning a wedding or event in 2017, I definitely recommend Love More Decor! 

---

ARE YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW A BOSS BABE IN THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA AREA WHO'S WORTHY OF BEING FEATURED IN THIS MONTHLY SPOTLIGHT? THIS IS A CHANCE TO HIGHLIGHT OTHER FEMALE OWNED/OPERATED BUSINESSES IN THE SOCAL AREA.

AS AN ORANGE COUNTY BASED BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER I'M COMMITTED TO FEMALE EMPOWERMENT, AND WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO UPLIFT AND SUPPORT OTHER WOMEN. 

GET IN TOUCH IF YOU'D LIKE TO BE CONSIDERED FOR A FEATURE. 

"It was exactly what I had hoped it would be!" | Orange County Boudoir Photographer

The first time I met today’s beautiful client was on the phone, and after that one conversation, I knew I adored her. When I asked why she wanted to have a boudoir photoshoot with me, she teared up as she told me her story.  She was reaching out to me at a time in her life when she wasn’t at her ideal weight. After falling off her fitness plan while caring for a dying family member, she had gained weight and as a result no longer felt sexy and beautiful.

This is something that we women do – especially as mothers. We spend so much of our time taking care of everyone else, that we forget to take care of ourselves! We put everyone else’s needs first, and then if there’s time left at the end of the day…maybe we’ll take a moment for ourselves. For Miss M, that was even more true because she’s a nurse; a caregiver at her core. To her, caring for everyone else just comes natural.

This natural instinct in women, is what I think draws us to an intimate portrait experience and why it can be so powerful. To put a day on your calendar, and declare it to be ALL FOR YOURSELF and let someone else (me!) take care of you. To clear your head for a little while, and simply be a woman. A beautiful, confident, sexy woman. An opportunity to connect with a side of yourself that you’ve not seen in months, years…or for some people, ever.

I hear it all the time, “I need to lose 10 pounds, and then I want to do a shoot,” and I’m here to tell you NO YOU DON’T. You absolutely do NOT have to lose weight in order to love your body, and feel sexy and beautiful. In fact, sometimes it’s at those low points in life when you need this type of pick-me-up. The kick-in-the-pants you needed to help you get yourself back on track. A reminder to put yourself first from time to time. 

Here's what Miss M had to say about the experience:

"I am a registered nurse and am currently working on my Master's degree. I wanted to do this because I was feeling down about myself for gaining some weight and my husband has never said a word about the gain. He only compliments me and tells me how beautiful I am, everyday, at my worst and my heaviest.

I needed to see myself as beautiful and sexy!

Sexy is not a size it is an attitude and I needed to remind myself of that!!"

"My favorite [photo] was also my best friends favorite. When she saw it, she said "it looks like a Chanel perfume ad" - what a compliment that was!!! Believe me, true best friends have no trouble telling you when you don't look good!!"

"No fears, no obstacles- I knew I was doing this for me as a surprise for my husband- I was only worried about looking too HEAVY!!"

"[My boudoir experience...] reminded me that I am beautiful and sexy regardless of my weight. It also reminded me to WEAR the lipstick!!! Who cares what others think!!!!"

"It was exactly what I had hoped it would be! Having my best friend there, the mimosas and Mandy telling me I looked HOT!!!!!"

"JUST DO IT!!!!! It will make you feel empowered and gorgeous! It will pick up that self esteem that has hit the floor."

She's absolutely right, you know! Get in touch and let's talk about helping you pick that self esteem up off the floor, and start seeing yourself as the badass, sexy lady that you are. 

One of the many faces of postpartum depression | Orange County Boudoir Studio

Okay 2016...I’m officially done with you. Yes, there have been some pretty fantastic moments, but overall, it's not been my favorite year. No, I’m not talking about the general state of the world - I’m talking about stuff much closer to home. Much more personal matters.  

Like many moms these days, I’d consider myself fairly well read in the baby development department. I’m the kind of person who needs to understand what is happening so that I can deal with it. If I understand WHY my kid is being a jerk at this particular moment, it helps me cope and not take it personally.  So, when I was pregnant I was well informed of the likelihood of postpartum depression and the signs – yet when it hit me, I had NO clue how much it was affecting my life.

Photo cred: Roxy Rodriguez

I had this idea in my head of what “depression” looked like. I pictured someone lying in bed all day, crying non-stop with a desire to harm themself and/or their child – which wasn’t me.  I also thought PPD only affected “new” moms during the first 6 months postpartum.

For me, it hit later, around my sons first birthday. I started therapy the first time around then, and began a major life re-evaluation (which is when my career change began – you can read all about that here). Finally, I started to grasp the reality that I was dealing with postpartum depression. I thought it was just a super mild case though, and figured that with time…I’d be all good, not something that was bad enough to need medication.

As with many things in life, the vision in your head often doesn’t represent real-life. In my reality, postpartum depression took the form of anxiety (not the I-can’t-get-out-of-bed-because-I’m-too-sad vision I thought it was). You know that nervous feeling you get when you’re about to do something scary or uncomfortable? I was feeling that from the moment I woke up, until I’d fall asleep at night. Some days would be worse than others, and occasionally it would subside – but for the most part, it was always there.

Self portrait project circa June 2016

With the anxiety came a lack of motivation and an inability to focus. I honestly thought I had developed a case of adult ADD because I simply could NOT focus. I’d sit down at my desk each day to work, and within moments have 10 tabs open. I’d get up for a bathroom break and notice the dirty laundry, and decide to throw in a load. On the way back, something else would distract me. It was a never ending cycle of getting sidetracked by anything and everything. I’d have a million ideas, but never the “umph” I needed to act on the ideas and execute them.

It wasn’t just me that this was affecting either. It was bleeding over into all my relationships and hindering my business goals. I was irritable and short-fused, which didn’t pair well with parenting. I rarely found myself enjoying the time with my kid. Instead, I was constantly trying to keep my cool and not blow up on him. My husband? Well, same with him. I was a ticking time bomb that may start crying at any moment, so he would just steer clear. That’s the thing about depression – it’s the fucking gift that keeps on giving, to everyone around the person who’s suffering.

It wasn’t even just those closest to me. On a broader scale, it looked like me being a flake with a lot of unfinished plans. Loads of unanswered text messages, emails, direct messages and comments – because, well, I don’t know. Because I simply didn’t have the motivation. Or I was scared; afraid of being rejected or shut down.

Now, I’m not a lazy person – but I was starting to question that. Was I lazy? Why didn’t I do all these things that I wanted to do? I could imagine the type of mother and wife that I wanted to be – who I thought I was at my core, but that girl was nowhere to be seen. I no longer enjoyed things that I once did. I could envision the business I wanted to build, the service I wanted to provide…yet, I kept getting in my own damn way. I felt like a wind-up doll, who wasn’t fully wound. My frustrations led to me feeling down on myself, which only led to more anxiety and a cyclical spiral of self-doubt.

This past summer, I finally started seeing a therapist again. (If you’ve ever had a desire or curiosity to see someone – DO IT. Seriously, it’s so helpful to have someone to talk to. Someone objective and not emotionally entangled in your life and relationships, and able to give you sound advice. I strongly believe that the biggest problem with our world now, is that we don’t pay enough attention to mental health and prioritize it. One doesn’t have to suffer a tragedy to have emotional wounds.) After a few months of weekly meetings with my counselor, I was starting to feel better. She helped me devise sound strategies to dealing with the anxiety, and how to better communicate what I was feeling with my husband.

Then I suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

All of the progress that I had been feeling, took a bit of a setback. While I’d maintained a reasonably limited “attachment” – knowing that unfortunately, miscarriage is terribly common – it still hurt. Getting pregnant is something that happened for us rather quickly and easily, and I’d already had one healthy, successful pregnancy…so I was overly confident. Going from being pregnant for nearly 3 months, to suddenly not being pregnant was a shock.  I was sad, and the anxiety was back.

Things really boiled to a head when I went in to see my OB a few weeks after the miscarriage for a check-up, and broke down crying while talking to my doctor. After she told me that she personally ended up on Prozac after suffering from PPD after her daughter was born, I decided to accept the help. I was done struggling with postpartum depression/anxiety, and living my life at half power.

In addition to starting a super low dosage of Prozac, I joined the gym. I was determined to take this tragedy, and use it as motivation to get my life back on track. To take control of my happiness, and not be so damn stubborn and deny the help that I (now realize) was so very necessary.

Within a month, I felt like a whole new person – or, instead of a new person, like MYSELF. For the first time since my son was born (over 3 years ago), I felt like my old self and realized that I was still in there. The brave and bold woman I knew at my core, was still in there…she was just stifled. I felt strong enough to take risks once again, and had the motivation to execute the ideas that had been simmering on low for so long. 

I’m a big believer that things happen for a reason. At the time of the loss, it was hard to imagine why that pregnancy wasn’t viable. I’ll never know for certain what the cause was, but I can’t help but think I wasn’t strong enough to handle it – emotionally AND physically. I needed to get myself on track before I could care for another little human.

I wish I could say I was “all fixed” now and no longer struggling, but that’s miles from true. In fact, I write this at a time when I feel myself backsliding. The difference is that I now know what’s affecting me, and the symptoms associated with it. Instead of letting it paralyze me, I choose to hit it head on and no longer hide in the shadows. Hopefully by putting it out there, I can cope with it – and maybe help bring attention to postpartum depression. It can have many faces, and affects every single woman in a different way. If this sounds like you, or someone you know – please seek help. Or, if you just want to talk to someone else who’s dealing with it, I’m here. Feel free to reach out to me. 

Here's the 2017! To understanding myself better with each passing year, and learning to use my own weaknesses to help empower other women. 

She secretly always wanted to do this || Orange County Boudoir Photographer

One of the things that I believe is an absolute MUST for your boudoir experience, is professional make-up & hair. You're beautiful just as you are, but having someone do your make-up is part of what helps you take on that sexy alter-ego that I know is hiding in each and every one of you. I don't consider this optional, which is why it's built in to all of my sessions. 

When I started my boudoir photography business here in Orange County, CA, I started the search for the perfect make-up artist to compliment the intimate portrait experience that I provide. Someone with a personality kind of like me, and someone I'd like to have a drink with outside work. The "glam" portion of the photoshoot should feel like hanging out with your girlfriends, so if I'm not friends with the make-up artist...then, well, that would just be weird. 

I happened upon Veronica when I was searching for someone with experience working with all skin tones, to accommodate a client at the time. I quickly learned that not only is she an incredible artist, but a down-to-earth, super rad lady. We bonded quickly over our shared love of Game of Thrones. 

Something that I feel passionately about, is that I want all women that work with me to experience a boudoir shoot with me. I want the person who's going to be doing your make-up, to know what she's talking about when she says "you can relax, Mandy will show you exactly what to do." Someone you can relate to you, because she's #beentheredonethat. I also want to do everything I can, to help empower the women around me to be the best damn version of themselves possible.  

If you're looking for an amazing make-up artist in the OC/LA/SD area...I highly recommend Veronica Fensel Make-up Artistry. You can check out Veronica's gallery down below, and hear straight from her what it was like:

"I have watched women get glammed up and pose for boudoir shoots for years, and have secretly have always wondered what it would be like to do one myself!

"Immediately upon leaving the shoot I felt like a sexier beast than when I walked in. I really did feel like a model during the session, and I think Mandy's encouragement during the shoot was the reason I felt that way! Then when I saw my photos, I felt especially beautiful seeing how amazing I looked during a time when I didn't feel so beautiful to begin with.

"I had been feeling down and less confident about my appearance for several months before the shoot. My face was breaking out, and I was at my heaviest weight. I was, however, determined not to let my insecurities stop me from doing something I'd always wanted to do!

"My favorite part of the experience was my improved self image.

"I was blown away when I saw my images! I rarely think I look good in pictures, and while I was expecting to like a few, I didn't expect to love every single one!

"Mandy is one of my absolute favorite photographers to work with as a hair/makeup artist, and as a model! She consistently produces beautiful images and is just a real and positive person who is so fun to hang out with!"

(P.S. I adore working with you too, Veronica.) 

Are you a make-up junkie wondering how she got her look? Veronica has shared all her make-up details with us. 

"For my foundation, I used Mehron Celebre Pro HD creme foundation in order to easily cover my acne scarring and blemishes. It is a full coverage creme, so I used a damp sponge to sheer it out in places that didn't need as much coverage. To cover up under eye darkness, I used MAC Prolongwear Concealer in NW25. The NW range from MAC has pink/peach to orange undertones which is great for correcting and covering blue and purple tones under the eye. Both of these products last a really long time, especially when you use a sponge or powder puff to press in translucent power on top to set it. To add some warmth and definition, I used Nars "Laguna" bronzer using a large flufffy powder brush around the perimeters of the face. On the cheeks I applied Nars "Orgasm" blush to brighten up my complexion. 

On my eyes, I used shadows from the Lorac Pro 2 Palette. From the palette, I used the color 'Nectar' in the crease as a transition color, and then blended inwards with 'Plum' and 'Cool Gray'. For a pop of shimmer on the lid, I used the colors 'Chrome' and 'Silver'. I lined the eyes with black gel liner from Inglot, and applied false lashes from the Coquette Cosmetics in the style, 'Leanna'. These lashes are super fluffy and full! Then, in order to make my lips pop on camera, I first filled in my lips with MAC lip pencil in 'Soar; and went over top with MAC lipstick in "Please Me". 

I set everything with Mario Badescu Rosewater spray to help meld the powders and creams together, and to give the skin a more natural glowing finish."

"Going outside your comfort zone and seeing positive results is so rewarding! If you've always wanted to try something like this, but are more on the introverted side like me, Mandy is the perfect relate-able and comfortable person to shoot with!!"

---

It's true...I'm a bit of an introvert myself. I like having one-on-one conversations with people, and get terribly shy in a crowd (unless I have a camera in my hand). This is all part of why I love intimate portraiture, and why I'm so passionate about what I do. Connecting with people and helping them step outside of their comfort zone for an empowering experience adds so much fulfillment to my life. 

Are you one of those who's secretly always wondered what it would be like to have your own boudoir photoshoot? What are you waiting for? I'll help you through the whole thing and show you an incredible side of yourself that you may not knew existed. Let's start with a phone call to break the ice! 

Boss Babe Spotlight: DAHLIA BOUTIQUE | OC Lingerie & Bra Boutique

Welcome to the OC Boss Babe Spotlight! #ocbossbabespotlight

What’s that, you ask? It’s a monthly feature on my blog where I’ll be spotlighting local Southern California female-run businesses, who are doing their part to empower women! In case you haven’t noticed, a big part of what I believe and do here is empower women. I think a woman who knows her worth and recognizes her beauty is unstoppable!

Have you ever heard that you should surround yourself with people who inspire you and you can learn from? That’s where the inspiration for this blog series is born. My personal desire to meet, interview and photograph some of the most badass, hard-working, confident lady-bosses in LA & Orange County. 

This month, I'm featuring Dahlia Boutique located at 246 Main St, Seal Beach, CA. As an Orange County boudoir photographer, I spend a lot of time shopping for lingerie. You know what's most surprising...the lack of local lingerie shops (especially outside of the mall)! So when I stumbled upon Dahlia, I had to get my butt in there ASAP. Then, when I met the fabulous women working in there, I wanted to know more!

Here's what they had to say...

How did Dahlia Boutique get started, or what was the inspiration? 
Dahlia Lingerie and Bra Boutique was created for women who have a hard time finding their bra size; those hard to find sizes and styles.  A wonderful alternative to chain lingerie stores that only carry basic sizes.  A place where women can get a professional bra fitting and walk out embracing their bodies and feeling beautiful.  

Can you tell us a little about the owner?
Leticia is a strong, independent business woman who opened this boutique to help other women. She always found that the department stores didn't carry her size either. She found her niche and embraced it. Lety has been a member of the Junior League of Long Beach and a volunteer for the Boys and Girls Club. She is very involved in her community and giving back to others.

How did it find it's home in Seal Beach?
Seal Beach is a charming beach community filled with families. Main St is definitely a wonderful place to shop with many one of a kind boutiques and local owned stores. When Lety came across 246 Main St and found a corner location, she knew it was meant to be! With so many growing families, moms need a local place to shop for their unmentionables without having to go all the way to the mall. A place they can easily go to after work or while the kids are in school.

How do you choose which brands and styles that you want to carry? 
We carry a variety of brands. Some are widely known and trusted brands, others are smaller designers who have specialty lines that are unique and hard to find. We love to find brands that are beautiful and well made of course, but also brands that offer the 28-30 bands and the 38-44 bands. You would be surprised how many women come into the store wearing 36DD and walk out in a 32F.

Most important thing women should know about buying the perfect bra? 
GET FITTED!!  Not once, not twice, but every time you buy a bra. Women's bra sizes can change on average 6 times in their lifetime.  Gaining or losing a few pounds can mean a different bra size. Having babies and/or stopping breastfeeding can change your size (DRAMATICALLY!!!). Age and hormones change them as well.  Get fitted at least every year.  We recommend getting a new bra every 6-9 months.  

Kierstin Shettlesworth, Assistant Manager at Dahlia

What are your favorite things about working in the lingerie industry? 
I love helping ladies find a new version of themselves.  Teaching them about the importance of a proper fitting bra and how it can make a world of difference.   Ladies love to shop, there is no doubt about that, but it's often our undergarments that need the most attention.  There is nothing like having your bra and panties match!  You walk a little taller and feel like you really have it all together, at least that day!

---

While I was in there chatting, we got to talking about bra fitting parties - which is something they offer - and I just knew I had to throw one! So, join us this THURSDAY, 11/10 from 6pm - 8pm. The Dahlia ladies will be offering up complimentary bra fittings, and I'll be bringing the wine & champagne. If you've ever been curious to meet me and ask your boudoir session questions, this is a great time to do so. There will also be a killer doorprize! Every lady who attends will get her name added to a drawing for a chance to win a complimentary boudoir session with Mandy Merino Photography, and either a chemise or bra and panty set from Dahlia Boutique (offer good until February 14th, 2017).

Get more information over on the Facebook event page. Button below will take you straight there. 

Hope to see you there!

---

Are you, or someone you know, a Boss Babe in the Southern California area committed to empowering women? If you'd like a chance to be featured on my blog, please get in touch via the form below! 

Boudoir in the Bluegrass :: Fall 2016 :: Lexington, KY

Mandy Merino Photography is bringing luxury intimate portraiture back to the Bluegrass this fall for a boudoir & beauty photoshoot marathon event. A limited number of sessions are being offered, and will be taking place in Lexington, Kentucky. 

Thursday, 10/13/16
12:00pm - BOOKED
3:00pm - BOOKED

Friday, 10/14/16
12:00pm - available
3:00pm - BOOKED

The session fee ($350) covers your complete boudoir photoshoot experience. This includes one-on-one wardrobe and styling coaching to prepare for your shoot, professional on-location hair & make-up the day of your shoot, a 90 minute photoshoot with Mandy, 3-4 wardrobe changes, retouching on all final images and a live virtual photo viewing session. No products or images are included in the session fee. 

Albums, heirloom boxes, wall art and digital files are available for purchase separately during your viewing session. Get in touch and we'll set-up a time for a call to go over all the specifics.

---

I love photographing all types of women, but I have to confess...it's even more fun when with friends! SO. MUCH. LAUGHTER. Seriously the best. Here are some of the highlights from the Spring Boudoir in the Bluegrass event. Catching up with old friends, and making new ones! 

"It was so much fun! I was really worried and scared for about 1 minute then Mandy started doing what she does and we had a blast!"

"I about backed out! I felt overwhelmed when I was trying to find things to wear. I am not a lacy kind of girl... I'm more of a sports bra, yoga pant kind of girl lol. I talked to Mandy about it and she gave me some great ideas that would fit my personality and made me feel so comfortable and confident about the entire process."

"This is an experience I will never forget. I will never forget how nervous I was, how much I laughed during, and how much I loved my photographs. Just do it, that's my best advice. Push to the side any apprehensions you may have because how often as busy women, moms, wives, girlfriends do we forget to indulge us? This is a treat that will never go out of style."

Wanna be the first to know when upcoming events are announced? Sign up for our newsletter to receive exclusive Kentucky session details.